My Strength Faltered and I Called Her
by dr-cox
Summary: My version of the lake scene in Ep 6. Naomi's point of view. Written in response to feedback on "Can We Go Somewhere?" Better if you read that story first possibly . Rated M for language and scenes of a sexual nature. Feedback is always appreciated. :D
1. My Strength Faltered and I Called Her

A/N Hey, ok so in response to the reviews I tried it. I have done the beginning of the lake scene from Naomi's perspective. I have found this really, really hard to write and so would really appreciate any feedback. I will work on the other chapters over the next day or so.

Warnings: there is swearing in this one, maybe once or twice.

Disclaimer: I own nothing in this Fic.

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My strength faltered and I called her.

I think it was a knee jerk reaction at the sight of her name imprinted on my cheek, refusing to go away. It made me realise that despite all the crap that happened earlier and all the shit I gave out, she was still there.

We arrived at this forest with a small lake and it screamed of Emily; a place of serenity, somewhere to be alone. Being a twin I guess she has never been alone and so she would need to search for such a place. The thought feels alien in my head; I have pretty much always been alone. I like it this way; it leaves no one to hurt you and no one to let you down. I have never felt the need to seek someone, to have company. Well until today. No, I don't need her; I just wanted somewhere to go to take my mind off my house, that stupid teacher and her. Emily makes my head hurt, and I get a feeling in my chest like I can't breathe. I put it down to nerves, I mean I know she likes me and so obviously I just don't feel comfortable. I only called her cause her name was on my cheek, dammit.

Didn't I?

It the midst of my thoughts I notice her moving and she's pulling off her top. She wants to swim. I assert that I have not got a costume, to which she cheekily replies she doesn't either and that the sun is shining or something. Her confidence and smooth responses catch me off guard slightly. This isn't the quiet Emily Fitch who follows Katie around at collage. This is someone else, someone I haven't met before.

For these reasons the thought of being in my underwear here freaks me out a little. Naomi you have got yourself into an awkward spot here. You don't even want _her_ to be here, do you? I try to dissuade her, "someone might be looking!"

"Honey, your body ain't that special" comes the smooth reply. I can hear the amusement in her voice and instead of freaking me out more it actually cheers me somewhat. I think I might like this fun, confident, cheeky Emily. Being around her is just what I needed. No, stop it. I mean, a swim might be ok, keep my mind off everything and I can always swim alone, away from her. I tell her not to look and turn to undress.

I turn back to find her eyes upon my body. Her face, it looks so open. No one has ever looked at me like that. Pure lust combined with something else, something a bit deeper. For a second I stop to wonder what it is she is thinking before I bring myself back to reality. I think I should be angry but instead I find myself breaking into a grin. I wrap my hands around my body before exclaiming "you were looking!"

Relief is evident on her face as she starts to protest that she wasn't. I use the opportunity to bicker slightly, easing the earlier tension (admittedly caused by me) and manage to push her in the lake. I jump in to join her. "Jesus it's cold!" It was very cold, way too cold to stay in for long. But I obviously couldn't let her think it was ok I saw her watching me so I made sure she got splashed a bit.

We exit the lake and shuffle further into the woods and make haste in drying ourselves. I hunt for sticks, I think a fire would be good and it also gives me something to do. Stop my mind from wandering and thinking about Emily. I don't understand the effect she is having on me. Deeper forces caused me to call her, ones that I'm not sure I am ready to confront. I just know I feel a sense of comfort around her, it's like I can relax and be myself. Not that I'm sure who that is sometimes.

I return to find she has set up a blanket and is rolling a splif, there is also a bottle of vodka. I smile, she is prepared. It doesn't take long before a small fire is crackling away nicely and I can sit back and rest on the blanket. My favourite old t-shirt and green jumper keeping the chill away as the afternoon fades to early evening.

I glance at her, her brow furrowed as she finishes her splif. Smiling to myself I ask her if she is alright. You can see her physically taken aback by the question; she stops briefly, glancing up at me before smirking and continuing to light the splif.

Not thinking too much I wave my hands in her face "hellooooo, you deaf or what?" She frowns as she takes her first drag, before turning to face me, her pale skin, brown eyes and perfect lips holding back a kind of smile. "Do you know that's the first time you have asked me anything?"

Yes I do know, I think to myself. I'm not supposed to be feeling lame right now but she is right. Jese, I can't handle some deep and meaningful confessions and apologies right about now. So I feign ignorance "What? Today?"

"Ever." The meaning and finality in that answer is not lost on me. I find myself wondering if that could be applied to all people. Who has asked Emily if she is alright recently? Who knows her outside of Katie's shadow? Do any of us know _Emily_? Torn between feeling ashamed but still not wanting to have a deep conversation causes me to continue my blasé responses. "Well, answer it then. You alright?"

It is my turn to feel relieved as she comes back with a cheeky, light mannered response: "No, I'm having the worst time of my life. The weather is shit, the company's even worse." I find myself smiling, mostly out of relief but also at the response itself. Emily has quite a dry sense of humour, like me. "Well then" is all I manage to reply before I have to drink some more vodka.

We sit in silence for a bit, looking at the fire, the trees. I make a bit of small talk about the forest as she stokes the fire a little more. When her hand returns I feel her cool fingers wrap around my own, her soft skin brushing against mine. I glance down and cannot help the smile that escapes my lips. It feels nice, knowing she was there. I let the comforting feelings flow inside me and for once I'm not fighting them.

We sit like this for a little and then she suggests blow backs. I make some quip about not getting the point and smoking things straight. She tells me it "fun" and asks if I have ever tried it. My answer rolls off my tongue with such ease, my natural aptitude at sarcasm evident, "no but being all seeing I already know it's shit". I smile, enjoying the banter between us, knowing full well that soon I would concede.

A smile is audible in her response, "come on everything once". I admit defeat then, "allowing her to disappoint me". Little did I realise how ironic that sentence would become.

We shuffle to face each other, as she busies herself firing up the splif I just look at her: her deep red hair, chocolate brown eyes and porcelain skin. Even in an old blue jumper she looks pretty amazing. God what am I doing? She cups my hands around the splif in her mouth and my fingers graze the smooth skin by her lips. It is so soft. I wonder how many people have felt that skin in the same way I have. I think back to Pandora's party, remembering the feel of her lips against mine. How amazing her skin felt and reliving her sweet taste mingled with brownies and pino grigio. I am looking into her eyes, you can almost taste the intensity passing between us. Does she see in my eyes what I am thinking?

I rush the blow back slightly and find my lids are heavy, forcing my eyes away from her and downwards. I need a few seconds to think, to stop this whirlwind in my head. But her lips occupy my mind and I know I want to taste them again. I force my eyes up to meet hers and see that same open abandonment that I found by the lake. I pause just looking at her, I want to picture this forever because I am finally seeing Emily now. No Katie, no school, no idiot Cook, just her. She is there and waiting for me. She looks perfect and so I lean forwards.

And then I am kissing her.


	2. And Then I

A/N Ok so here is the second part. I am not 100% about this, think I might have tried too hard to get across Naomi's POV or something. Again, thanks to anyone who has read my stories and a bigger thanks to anyone who takes the time to review. All comments are gratefully received. I am going away for a few days now and then when I come back I have about 48 hours before I leave for 3 months, I intend to finish the last chapter before then tho!!! :)

Warning: Swearing and scenes of a sexual nature (kinda)

Disclaimer: Still don't own these characters. Oh the fun I could have if I did!!!!

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And then_ I_ was kissing her. I wanted to feel the sweet softness of her lips, breathe in her scent and hear those sweet noises of pleasure only she can make. Fuck. The realisation of what has just flashed into my head hits me hard for a split second and I pull back slightly. Thoughts of fear, rejection and humiliation threatening are to spill out and destroy this. But she captures me again, deeply kissing me and the thoughts disintegrate into the trees to be hidden there forever.

Her hand comes up to reach for me, grazing my neck and jumper. The coolness of her fingers against my skin makes me wonder what her lips would feel like there. I soon find out as she dips her head to suck and kiss my neck and collar bone. Wow. I can't help the sigh that escapes my lips as I find my mind swirling with thoughts of her and I feel something building inside me, clouding my eyes: desire. I need something to stop me going right off the edge. I reach out to hold her arm just as she stops kissing my neck and looks up to meet my gaze.

I think she is afraid I will stop her, as her kisses become forced and awkward. She finally admits defeat and moves back, but only slightly, she is close enough that her scent still invades my mind. She is vanilla lip balm combined with a deeper earthy, almost smoky smell that you can't quite define. It is metaphoric for Emily; under Katie's shadow she is vanilla, easy to ignore for more exciting flavours, she appears so placid and uninteresting. But when you get closer there is an exciting fire burning inside her hiding secrets just waiting to be discovered. The feelings in my head and my body are overwhelming me, and I find my eyelids are heavy again forcing my eyes away from her.

Despite my inner turmoil I can't stop certain emotions escaping through my face and I feel myself chewing my lip and smiling. Not knowing what to say, I pass the baton to her: "say something". She smiles, still nervous and tells me she is all about experiments. I am still obsessed with wanting to smell her, taste her lips and skin but I can't make the first move. I think I know what I want but I lack the power to take it.

Slowly, she reaches forwards and fumbles with the hem of my jumper. I lift my arms and it is over my head in a millisecond. Air escapes from my mouth as I feel relief that she was brave enough to start this for both of us. I spend a second just looking at her, I feel my arousal deep inside and hope she can see how she is making me feel. I reach forward and mimic her actions, removing the blue jumper. She rubs her nose slightly in an amazingly cute way, her uncertainty almost visible.

With a smile I am upon her again, lips meeting with force and urgency. She returns my kiss with the same intensity and I find myself using my weight to guide her back onto the blanket. I feel in control but not for too long as she soon manoeuvres us around so she is on top of me.

We spend time kissing and exploring each other. I love the feel of her lips; they are so sweet and soft. I love how she responds to my kisses and the noises she makes. I try to convey my pleasure to her by allowing my nails to score softly over her back when she kisses certain spots or fleetingly brushes against my centre. I hate it but I can't help but compare to the last guy I kissed: the scratchy stubble, rough hands everywhere surely moving too fast to really take in the sensation of my skin, his hot, messy kisses and pressure, his arousal only too evident against my hip.

Emily's touch is so soft and slow, taking in every sensation. The kisses perfect, sweet and deep, conveying her feelings and arousal in a way I can't imagine a guy being able to do. The lack of pressure from her is also a big plus. I am relishing the freedom to just explore her and enjoy the sensations that are surrounding me.

But, it is obviously new to both of us; in the beginning the actions are hesitant and slow. I think we are both trying to reassure one another. Like the moan that escapes her lips when I kiss her deeply and allow my fingers to dance across her skin.

I'm nervous about touching her in certain places, like her breasts. But hearing her moan with pleasure gives me courage and I allow myself to feel her nipple against my palm, gently squeezing it before I make a hasty retreat. I sense her becoming breathless and I too am getting worked up in response to our actions, no matter how hesitant or inexperienced we are. I haven't felt like this before and I know I want it to keep going. I find my kisses becoming more urgent, gone is the exploring of before. Now I want to try and show her how I am feeling and maybe hint that I need more. But again, I cannot be the one to start this, something stops me. I hear my earlier thoughts rustling in the trees and acknowledge that they won't be hidden there forever, but maybe just for tonight.

Another moment of confidence and I allow my hands to wander and run along the waist band of her briefs in a teasing way before they return to her neck. I brush my burning centre against her leg, oh god that felt good. To my delight I feel her turning us over again and settling me down on my back on the blanket.

Her lips and fingers begin to travel down my body across my stomach. Each touch fuelling my desire and I can feel myself aching for her to touch me, properly. The coolness of her hair that follows her lips adds to my desire and I find my legs parting to allow her access.

She settles herself down and begins to kiss my thigh sweetly using her teeth and tongue to nip and lick at the skin there. Her hands trail up until they hook under my briefs and she pauses for a moment. I realise I am shaking with anticipation and desire. Her pause is quite long and for a second I think that maybe she has changed her mind now she is, 'down there'? Or maybe Naomi, given your track record she is worried _YOU_ are going to change your mind. I breathe out slowly, as she ever so slowly removes my underwear. She really is amazing. She is taking her time, despite the frantic urgency of earlier, for me. Wow.

As she returns to her goal she kisses and trails her fingers up my legs, leaving my skin tingling with every touch. She returns to her spot between my legs and I can hear her let out a satisfied sigh as her eyes rest upon me.

It feels good, no pretty amazing actually, knowing Emily is looking at me and isn't repelled at the sight of me. Guys before have kinda tried to not get too close, only give head if they had to and made it clear that they don't think 'it' is overly attractive. But Emily seems to be having a moment all to herself and it makes me smile inside as I begin to wonder what she will do, how it will feel and if she will enjoy touching me. These thoughts only serve to stoke the burning desire between my legs and I patiently wait for whatever she chooses to do next, knowing that whatever it is, it will feel fucking amazing.


	3. Made Me Feel Amazing

A/N: OK so here it is, the final part of Naomi's POV by the lake scene. Many thanks to all who have already read my stories and to anyone who is now reading them. Reviews are always appreciated, the good and the constructive. I hope you have enjoyed reading my perspective on the events by the lake. I am now signing off for the summer :)

Warnings: Swearing (once maybe twice) and sex. If you are young, please return when older. Thanks.

Disclaimer: I don't own Skins, I don't own Naomi or Emily. I don't even own the laptop I wrote this on.

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I know that whatever it is, it will feel fucking amazing. And I am not wrong. She brings her hands up to hold my hips as she slowly kisses along my thigh and then draws her tongue up the length of me. I cannot help the noises escaping my mouth, the feelings are so intoxicating: the partial relief felt when she finally touches me 'there' immediately followed by the need to have her do it again.

She pauses briefly before repeating herself, and if possible it feels even better the second time. I breathe out and feel myself relax against the blanket as she pauses again. I can taste my own anticipation on my tongue and the burning in-between my legs grows with each second that passes.

But I realise that actually, she's stopped. Something is wrong maybe? I slide my hand down to clasp her cool digits with my own and tentatively speak her name: "Ems?" Her eyes meet mine and I understand exactly what she is thinking even before she stutters an apology and disappears under her own insecurities.

It dawns on me that despite her pursuit of me and her eagerness of earlier this is her first time and she's scared. And typical of Emily, she is scared she won't be good enough, and importantly, good enough for me. I appreciate that this is a two way process; sex isn't about lying back and thinking of 'England'. I should be here 100% and right now she needs reassurance, so I give what I hope to be a warm smile and, choosing my words carefully, I simply tell her to take her time. I don't want her to feel any pressure, but at the same time to continue the way she was.

She squeezes my hand, which I take to be a good sign and within seconds she has begun to lick and tease me again. I should focus more about Emily now; I want to ensure that when she does something I like I let her know. She is slow and careful, and it merely allows me to feel every suck, flick and lick with increased intensity. I find myself becoming so worked up and enjoying everything that it doesn't really need me to focus on telling her she is doing it right. I do it sub-consciously, moaning and grasping her hand in response to her movements. When she kisses me with her lips and tongue so intimately I think I might come right there and then. The closeness of her to 'me', the selflessness of her actions, I feel special that someone would want to do these things to me.

She finds my clit and begins to flick her tongue over the area. Jesus. I feel my body begin to tense and I thrust into her wanting more contact between us. She reads my responses well and the feeling between my legs is building with such ferocity I crave a release. I need something to keep me here in reality; my head is becoming fuzzy with the feelings she is evoking in me. My hands find their way into her hair and it adds to my arousal, knowing that I am holding the person who is making me feel this way. It makes it feel so much more than a physical reaction, like you could have to a stranger. I know I am getting closer with everything that she does.

I tighten my hold as her tongue slides inside me before running up and over my clit. My breath forcefully escapes my lungs as I come and loosen my grip on her. I close my eyes tightly and let the orgasm ripple through me. I'm aware she is kissing my stomach, and then she moves to be beside me, her perfect fingers tracing patterns on my stomach.

I see spots inside my eyelids as I wait for the waves of pleasure to subside and my breathing to return to something near normal. When I do open my eyes my first thought is her; I _need_ her to know how good that was. She connects with my eyes and she knows. I know that she knows. I reach up to cup her cheek and her hand meets my own. It's such a simple physical action. You would think that after her amazing oral onslaught that would do nothing for me, but I am pleasantly surprised to notice the contact still creates a warmth inside me. Not down there but this time deep in my chest. She smiles and I reach up to draw her into a kiss.

I moan into our kiss as I taste myself. It fuels the warmth in my chest and reminds me of the specialness I felt when she was kissing me intimately. I want to show her how I feel, kissing her deeply, slowly and fully. My feelings are surprising me alongside the fact that I am compelled to bare them to Emily. I try not to think, I just enjoy kissing her, conveying sweetness and tenderness. I love the way she returns my gentle, deep kisses.

I wish we could kiss like that forever, well maybe half and half with our so different, urgent and desire fuelled kissing of earlier. Instead the chill of the summer evening is catching me so I need to put my underwear back on. As I fumble in the dwindling light she stokes the fire and retrieves my t shirt and jumper. I eagerly allow her to pull the garments over my head before lying back down next to the fire. She also dresses and lies next to me.

I instinctively wrap my arms around her and she slips into the crook of my neck. We lie like this for a bit, my hand wanders and I slide under her blue jumper to caress her smooth skin. I tighten my embrace, wanting to surround her in my feelings for her. What? Did I really just think that? I feel my mind clearing, the fuzziness of earlier being blown clear by the cold summer breeze. I guess now I have come down from my high, the impact tonight's events really hits home. I suddenly find myself thinking: I don't know what came over me, what did I just do? Did I really just loose my virginity to a girl? The warm feeling in my chest is subsiding and I sense myself getting worked up, my heart beating faster and the burning desire to run building inside me, not dissimilar from the feelings Emily evoked in me earlier.

Relax Naomi; just enjoy this evening and the good feelings that are swirling in the air. You don't really want to ruin this by speaking or doing anything retarded. Ems lets out a sigh and I spot her eyes flickering as she snuggles into me. Guilt from my previous destructive thoughts taints me as I run my thumb along her cheek and lips. I forcefully kiss her hair, and say goodnight. I wish I didn't have to hurt her.

"Night Nai" she mutters into my side. I lie there trying to relax and let sleep take me over. But my eyes are wide open staring at the dark sky, focusing on the crackling sound of the fire. I can hear my thoughts of earlier rustling in the trees as they come out and begin to surround us, suffocating me. I let out a sigh, close my eyes and try to focus on the feelings elicited by the sleeping form next to me. The fire dies a little and the darkness tightens its grip, allowing the thoughts to invade a bit more. I pull her closer to me. I want to remember how she feels against me and how she made me feel tonight. Because I know that in the morning, _they_ will be here and I will be gone.


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